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Politics

My Dumb Broken Brain

If you’re not familiar with the online reporting of Ashley Feinberg, (1) go follow her on Twitter right now, and (2) you should also subscribe to Trashberg, her new newsletter.

In the latest installment of Trashberg, Feinberg goes into a deep-dive into the Instagram shenanigans of Cally Gingrich, wife of former Speaker of the House and current Burlap Sack of Instant Mashed Potatoes Posing as a Human, Newt Gingrich.

In this analysis, Feinberg describes “The Cally”, the Gingrichii’s signature pose:

This is not something Cally dreamed up recently. According to my research, she began perfecting this shot as early as 2014. And when viewed within the larger context of her Instagram, the reappearance of this particular arrangement is easy to overlook. Each one is separated by shots of the Pope, Newt’s dinner, all the things Cally holds dear. But take notice of the repetition just once, and The Cally quickly become all you can see. Your dreams become an endless scroll of plastered smiles on smooth Callies and sweaty-faced Newts, boring into your innermost self as you pray for relief.

But, please, don’t take my word for it. Observe.

Readers are then treated to a number of examples of The Cally in action, and, then, a GIF combining all The Cally images. And, watching that GIF, my brain — my dumb, stupid brain — could only think of one thing.

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Cute Animals Life, Y'Know? Social

As a thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday this week, please enjoy this photo of Sunshine and I wearing matching party hats.

via Instagram

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Social

The only problem I’ve had with my car is that it didn’t ask people to say hi to their dogs for me.

The back of my car, with a “tell your dog I said hi” sticker
That problem is now resolved.
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Social

Took 5 hours for Sunshine to rip this toy to shreds, which is an impressive display of longevity for a toy around here, honestly.

Took 5 hours for Sunshine to rip this toy to shreds, which is an impressive display of longevity for a toy around here, honestly.
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Social

HEYYYYYYYY

HEYYYYYYYY
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Social

“I yam what I yam, and what I yam is VENGINSK.” – Gritty Reboot Popeye #nycc

“I yam what I yam, and what I yam is VENGINSK.” - Gritty Reboot Popeye #nycc
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Social

It got a bit raunchy tonight at the ol’ Olive Garden, folks.

It got a bit raunchy tonight at the ol’ Olive Garden, folks.
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Social

Keeping it classy in Bed Bath & Beyond, you know how I do. #butts

Keeping it classy in Bed Bath & Beyond, you know how I do. #butts
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Social

There’s a lot of things I’ll miss about Montréal, but Omnipresent Judgmental Leonard Cohen isn’t one of them.

There’s a lot of things I’ll miss about Montréal, but Omnipresent Judgmental Leonard Cohen isn’t one of them.
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Social

Gotta visit all the spots I can’t possibly go to at home, y’know?

Gotta visit all the spots I can’t possibly go to at home, y’know?