Donald J. Trump - eD! Thomas

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent but, between the devastation of Puerto Rico, the ongoing feud between Trump and the NFL, and the shooting in Las Vegas on Sunday, there was a bit of frustration for Jeff and I about just cracking jokes about stupid news shit, so a majority of this episode is us getting our yell on for people’s stupid hot takes.

But when we needed a break from that, we did find some stuff that was slightly amusing, because we can’t be all “everything is shit” all the time, y’know?

Cow Farts are Killing the Environment

Farts are the stock and trade of Nearly Coherent, so when I saw this headline from Gizmodo, I knew we had to discuss it:

We’ve Grossly Underestimated How Much Cow Farts Are Contributing to Global Warming

Sadly, I didn’t really read the article before we spoke about it, and my internet connection was being a turd so I couldn’t do a “read faster than Jeff can ask questions” maneuver, so all we really spoke about was the headline, but, still, what a great headline, right?!

A Buncha Shit Re: DC Comics Movies

I’ve been pretty vocal regarding how I feel about DC Comics’ current run of movies — specifically, they’re garbage and the company has no idea what the hell they’re doing at all — and apparently Warner Bros. has started to feel the same way, as they announced that they’re going to focus more on standalone films from now on.

Personally, I think this is a great idea — DC has always worked best in my estimation when they embrace the idea of their Multiverse, and this will be a strong differentiator for their properties from Marvel Studios. Sure, this adds a variety of ways that they can totally screw up, but this makes it easier to walk those screw-ups back in a much faster way.

That was more or less that for this week… Fingers crossed we can make it to next week without some other Earth-shattering catastrophe to distract from stupid crap! (I’m not holding my breath on that one, though, to be honest.)

Go listen to the episode yourself at Nearly Coherent or wherever else you go to get your podcasts. Whatever makes you happy.

This episode is proof-positive we’re in the Darkest Timeline. Sorry!

Trump v. Sportsball

No one is more upset than I am at Trump’s feud with the NFL and Stephan Curry, both because I’m a hard-line supporter of the First Amendment and because now I know things about sports, which is the last thing in the world I wanted.

In case you missed it because you’re the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth, here’s a good explainer of Trump versus the NFL, and here’s what’s what with Trump versus the NBA, both from Vox.com.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a not-ugly Golden State Warriors hat.

The Apple Watch’s Heart Rate Tracking

The Apple Watch got a whole bunch of great updates with watchOS 4, including showing resting heart rate, walking heart rate, recovery rate, and will even give you a head’s up when your heartbeat is spiking for no reason whatsoever. However, these features only work on the Series 1, Series 2, and new Series 3 Watches… the Series 0, which is the original Apple Watch, doesn’t have the hardware capable of handling that.

This isn’t really a big deal — you can always expect pretty big leaps in technical capabilities between the first generation of a device and the second or third, and you can especially expect it when the device is made by Apple. The people who might be a little annoyed by this, though, are the people who bought the first generation solid gold Apple Watch Edition, which started at $18,000. They might have expected a little more longevity out of their purchase.

Then again, they were dumb enough to buy an $18,000+ Apple Watch, so they’re kinda getting what they deserve, honestly.

A $350 Jean Jacket

Jean jackets are back, much to my dismay, and Levi’s released their new Commuter Trucker denim jacket yesterday, which retails $350. Admittedly, it’s a jacket with a li’l technological trick up its sleeve… by swiping or tapping the fabrics on the left cuff, you can control your smartphone via Bluetooth. It’s also made in partnership with Google, so you don’t have to worry about the technical know-how of the fine folks at Levi’s in the hopes that the thing will work, which is nice.

That said, for $350, you can also buy an Apple Watch and not look like a time traveler from 1997, which might be a better look all-around, if you ask me. But hey, it’s your money, spend it how you want, weirdo!

There’s plenty more in the episode to entertain and probably horrify you, so visit Nearly Coherent or wherever you get your podcast fix to give it a listen.