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Life, Y'Know? Linkin' Log News Politics Science

‘These new vaccine mutants are extremely disappointing,’ by Magneto

From Alexandra Petri at the Washington Post:

Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopath, testified in Ohio that, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the Internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick.” When I heard this, I was more excited than I have been in years. People who could control metal! Magnetic people! I felt full of hope for mutantkind. These new mutants were appearing in state legislature after state legislature, testifying to the development of these new powers, and I said to myself, “Finally everything is coming up Magneto!” I was so excited. […]

[L]et me tell you, I was pretty let down.

I spent more time cackling while reading this than I care to admit.

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Linkin' Log News Politics

Katie Porter’s Whiteboard

When you woke up this morning and put on your bland suit in preparation for your hearing, I bet you looked yourself in the mirror and thought: Today’s the day. Katie Porter’s not going to get me.

Well, I’m Representative Katie Porter’s whiteboard, and I’ve got a message scrawled upon my glistening façade: We’re about to kick your ass.

The exchange between Rep. Katie Porter of California and an official from the CDC during a hearing yesterday was awesome. This monologue from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is an equally-awesome companion piece.

If you haven’t seen Rep. Porter mopping the floor with the officials from the CDC yet, you should 100% watch the video below before you read the piece on McSweeney’s. It’s worth your time, I promise.

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Linkin' Log Politics Technology

Jeff Bezos: No Thank You, Mr. Pecker.

Amazon.com founder and Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos was investigating how The National Enquirer got ahold of the steamy text messages he sent to his mistress. The National Enquirer, you might imagine, wasn’t keen on that:

Something unusual happened to me yesterday. Actually, for me it wasn’t just unusual — it was a first. I was made an offer I couldn’t refuse. Or at least that’s what the top people at the National Enquirer thought. I’m glad they thought that, because it emboldened them to put it all in writing. Rather than capitulate to extortion and blackmail, I’ve decided to publish exactly what they sent me, despite the personal cost and embarrassment they threaten.

Good on Bezos for standing up to these buckets of slime posing as humans at The National Enquirer, but woe be unto us, the rest of humanity, as the likelihood that we’re going to see Bezos’s Bits has increased 700%.


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Politics

Ted Cruz Loves White Castle

I love these ads, but I’m horrified to discover that I share any beliefs with Ted Cruz (that belief being that White Castle is delicious, and yes, I will gladly die on that hill).

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Entertainment Politics

July 4th

This Fourth of July, let’s remember the Presidents who might not have made anything better, but sure as hell didn’t actively make everything worse all the damn time, shall we?

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Politics

Went to my local Keep Families Together march today. This was my sign.

How Are There 2 Sides to "Baby Jail Is Bad"?!

#KeepFamiliesTogether
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News Politics

The Morning Call: Stoning could be last ditch defense against school shooters, Blue Mountain official says

The Morning Call has news of a plan to help curb school shootings: rocks.

“If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Superintendent David Helsel said to the House Education Committee in Harrisburg.

I swear, we live in the dumbest of all future dystopian society timelines.

Source: Daring Fireball

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Entertainment News Politics Technology

Nearly Coherent 037: The Kimmy Gibbler of Worlds

This episode is proof-positive we’re in the Darkest Timeline. Sorry!


Trump v. Sportsball

No one is more upset than I am at Trump’s feud with the NFL and Stephan Curry, both because I’m a hard-line supporter of the First Amendment and because now I know things about sports, which is the last thing in the world I wanted.

In case you missed it because you’re the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth, here’s a good explainer of Trump versus the NFL, and here’s what’s what with Trump versus the NBA, both from Vox.com.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a not-ugly Golden State Warriors hat.

It's me.

The Apple Watch’s Heart Rate Tracking

The Apple Watch got a whole bunch of great updates with watchOS 4, including showing resting heart rate, walking heart rate, recovery rate, and will even give you a head’s up when your heartbeat is spiking for no reason whatsoever. However, these features only work on the Series 1, Series 2, and new Series 3 Watches… the Series 0, which is the original Apple Watch, doesn’t have the hardware capable of handling that.

This isn’t really a big deal — you can always expect pretty big leaps in technical capabilities between the first generation of a device and the second or third, and you can especially expect it when the device is made by Apple. The people who might be a little annoyed by this, though, are the people who bought the first generation solid gold Apple Watch Edition, which started at $18,000. They might have expected a little more longevity out of their purchase.

Then again, they were dumb enough to buy an $18,000+ Apple Watch, so they’re kinda getting what they deserve, honestly.

A $350 Jean Jacket

Jean jackets are back, much to my dismay, and Levi’s released their new Commuter Trucker denim jacket yesterday, which retails $350. Admittedly, it’s a jacket with a li’l technological trick up its sleeve… by swiping or tapping the fabrics on the left cuff, you can control your smartphone via Bluetooth. It’s also made in partnership with Google, so you don’t have to worry about the technical know-how of the fine folks at Levi’s in the hopes that the thing will work, which is nice.

That said, for $350, you can also buy an Apple Watch and not look like a time traveler from 1997, which might be a better look all-around, if you ask me. But hey, it’s your money, spend it how you want, weirdo!


There’s plenty more in the episode to entertain and probably horrify you, so visit Nearly Coherent or wherever you get your podcast fix to give it a listen.

Categories
Politics

The Best Political Ad in the History of Political Ads (Probably)

Re-elect Gerald Daugherty so poor Charlyn Daugherty doesn’t go crazy, people.

Source: Digg.com

Categories
Linkin' Log News Politics

The Arizona Republic: How do we respond to threats after our endorsement? This is how.

After endorsing a Democrat for president for the first time in their 126-year publication history, The Arizona Republic has gotten a number of threats against their staff, from the reporters who know that this sort of thing comes with the territory to the kids who are selling subscriptions door-to-door who shouldn’t be dragged into editorial matters unless you’re a freakin’ monster. Mi-Ai Parrish, the president of the paper, responds to these threats in this editorial with a reminder that the First Amendment is kinda crazy-important.