Categories
Politics

My Dumb Broken Brain

If you’re not familiar with the online reporting of Ashley Feinberg, (1) go follow her on Twitter right now, and (2) you should also subscribe to Trashberg, her new newsletter.

In the latest installment of Trashberg, Feinberg goes into a deep-dive into the Instagram shenanigans of Cally Gingrich, wife of former Speaker of the House and current Burlap Sack of Instant Mashed Potatoes Posing as a Human, Newt Gingrich.

In this analysis, Feinberg describes “The Cally”, the Gingrichii’s signature pose:

This is not something Cally dreamed up recently. According to my research, she began perfecting this shot as early as 2014. And when viewed within the larger context of her Instagram, the reappearance of this particular arrangement is easy to overlook. Each one is separated by shots of the Pope, Newt’s dinner, all the things Cally holds dear. But take notice of the repetition just once, and The Cally quickly become all you can see. Your dreams become an endless scroll of plastered smiles on smooth Callies and sweaty-faced Newts, boring into your innermost self as you pray for relief.

But, please, don’t take my word for it. Observe.

Readers are then treated to a number of examples of The Cally in action, and, then, a GIF combining all The Cally images. And, watching that GIF, my brain — my dumb, stupid brain — could only think of one thing.

Categories
Entertainment Politics

Rock-y The Vote

Look, you shouldn’t need another reason to vote what with all the crap going on, but if you do, you could do worse than voting because Tenacious D (and guests!) singing “Time Warp” from “Rocky Horror” inspired you to.

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Life, Y'Know? Nearly Coherent News Politics Society

Nearly Coherent: Critical Mass

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent.

eD! and Jeff remind you that #BlackLivesMatter, and if you think otherwise, you’re probably a dick.

It only took us two tries to get this right, and there’s a lot that might age poorly, but we’re doing our best here.

Categories
Linkin' Log News Politics

Katie Porter’s Whiteboard

When you woke up this morning and put on your bland suit in preparation for your hearing, I bet you looked yourself in the mirror and thought: Today’s the day. Katie Porter’s not going to get me.

Well, I’m Representative Katie Porter’s whiteboard, and I’ve got a message scrawled upon my glistening façade: We’re about to kick your ass.

The exchange between Rep. Katie Porter of California and an official from the CDC during a hearing yesterday was awesome. This monologue from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is an equally-awesome companion piece.

If you haven’t seen Rep. Porter mopping the floor with the officials from the CDC yet, you should 100% watch the video below before you read the piece on McSweeney’s. It’s worth your time, I promise.

Categories
Linkin' Log Politics Technology

Jeff Bezos: No Thank You, Mr. Pecker.

Amazon.com founder and Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos was investigating how The National Enquirer got ahold of the steamy text messages he sent to his mistress. The National Enquirer, you might imagine, wasn’t keen on that:

Something unusual happened to me yesterday. Actually, for me it wasn’t just unusual — it was a first. I was made an offer I couldn’t refuse. Or at least that’s what the top people at the National Enquirer thought. I’m glad they thought that, because it emboldened them to put it all in writing. Rather than capitulate to extortion and blackmail, I’ve decided to publish exactly what they sent me, despite the personal cost and embarrassment they threaten.

Good on Bezos for standing up to these buckets of slime posing as humans at The National Enquirer, but woe be unto us, the rest of humanity, as the likelihood that we’re going to see Bezos’s Bits has increased 700%.


Categories
Politics

Ted Cruz Loves White Castle

I love these ads, but I’m horrified to discover that I share any beliefs with Ted Cruz (that belief being that White Castle is delicious, and yes, I will gladly die on that hill).

Categories
Entertainment Politics

July 4th

This Fourth of July, let’s remember the Presidents who might not have made anything better, but sure as hell didn’t actively make everything worse all the damn time, shall we?

Categories
Politics

Went to my local Keep Families Together march today. This was my sign.

How Are There 2 Sides to "Baby Jail Is Bad"?!

#KeepFamiliesTogether
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Entertainment Meta Politics Technology

Nearly Coherent: The Hundredth Episode

Did you know I had a podcast? If not, surprise! You can go listen to our 59th episode, which is actually our 100th episode, right now!

Categories
News Politics

The Morning Call: Stoning could be last ditch defense against school shooters, Blue Mountain official says

The Morning Call has news of a plan to help curb school shootings: rocks.

“If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Superintendent David Helsel said to the House Education Committee in Harrisburg.

I swear, we live in the dumbest of all future dystopian society timelines.

Source: Daring Fireball