• Well Screw This, I’m Going to Canada (For Work)

    I’m counting on y’all to get this sorted out by the time I get back next week tbqh

  • Merry Election-Eve

    Last Week Tonight did a bit on why you shouldn’t vote for Trump, and y’know what? I agree. He stinks.

  • ‘These new vaccine mutants are extremely disappointing,’ by Magneto

    From Alexandra Petri at the Washington Post: Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopath, testified in Ohio that, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the Internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them…

  • Katie Porter’s Whiteboard

    When you woke up this morning and put on your bland suit in preparation for your hearing, I bet you looked yourself in the mirror and thought: Today’s the day. Katie Porter’s not going to get me. Well, I’m Representative Katie Porter’s whiteboard, and I’ve got a message scrawled upon my glistening façade: We’re about…

  • Jeff Bezos: No Thank You, Mr. Pecker.

    Amazon.com founder and Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos was investigating how The National Enquirer got ahold of the steamy text messages he sent to his mistress. The National Enquirer, you might imagine, wasn’t keen on that: Something unusual happened to me yesterday. Actually, for me it wasn’t just unusual — it was a first. I was made…

  • Ted Cruz Loves White Castle

    I love these ads, but I’m horrified to discover that I share any beliefs with Ted Cruz (that belief being that White Castle is delicious, and yes, I will gladly die on that hill).

  • July 4th

    This Fourth of July, let’s remember the Presidents who might not have made anything better, but sure as hell didn’t actively make everything worse all the damn time, shall we?

  • The Morning Call: Stoning could be last ditch defense against school shooters, Blue Mountain official says

    The Morning Call has news of a plan to help curb school shootings: rocks. “If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Superintendent David Helsel said to the House Education Committee in Harrisburg. I…

  • Nearly Coherent 037: The Kimmy Gibbler of Worlds

    This episode is proof-positive we’re in the Darkest Timeline. Sorry! Trump v. Sportsball No one is more upset than I am at Trump’s feud with the NFL and Stephan Curry, both because I’m a hard-line supporter of the First Amendment and because now I know things about sports, which is the last thing in the…