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The New Yorker: Trump’s Boswell Speaks
The New Yorker has a piece on “The Art of The Deal” ghostwriter Tony Schwartz’s feelings on a Donald Trump presidency. It’s only slightly horrifying. Starting in late 1985, Schwartz spent eighteen months with Trump—camping out in his office, joining him on his helicopter, tagging along at meetings, and spending weekends with him at his Manhattan…
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Delete Your Account
The only thing that annoys me about this is that they didn’t include a GIF of Hillary dropping a mic because that’s what she just did you guys.
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World Makes Final Attempt To Try To Understand This Shit
From The Onion: In the wake of the terrorist attacks in Brussels that left over 30 dead and more than 100 injured, an angry and frustrated global populace collectively announced Tuesday that it would make one last attempt to try to understand this shit. Visibly exasperated residents from every country around the world told reporters…
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Kill the Apple Event (Or: My Reaction To Today’s “Let Us Loop You In” Event In One Click-Bait Headline)
eD! spends far too much time mulling over Apple events, and now he’s going to ramble on about it to you, you lucky dog.
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Last Week Tonight: Encryption
“Last Week Tonight” discusses encryption. Let’s all laugh at our pending doom together!
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Apple v. FBI: Dawn of Justice
As you’re likely aware by now, Apple was ordered by a federal court on Tuesday to provide aid to the FBI in order to unlock the iPhone 5c that belonged to one of the shooters in last December’s terrorist attack in San Bernardino, California. Apple, in a massively delightful display of not giving a shit,…
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Sarah Palin’s Endorsement of Donald Trump for President: The Full Text
Buzzfeed’s Kyle Blaine transcribed the entirety of Sarah Palin’s endorsement speech for Donald Trump: He is from the private sector, not a politician, can I get a “Hallelujah!” Where, in the private sector, you actually have to balance budgets in order to prioritize, to keep the main thing, the main thing, and he knows the…
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Martin Shkreli Arrested on Security Fraud Charges
Martin Shkreli, the sociopathic butthole that was trying to convince us all it was a human being, was arrested today. From the New York Times: In 2011, while running the hedge fund MSMB Capital Management, Mr. Shkreli started Retrophin, which adopted a controversial business strategy that has come under scrutiny. It acquired old, neglected drugs…
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“Reconcile Yourselves With Your God, For All Will Perish In The Tempest”
From The Onion: “The furious hoarfrost bearing down upon us knows neither mercy nor reason, and all within the five boroughs will perish, cowering in their brittle dwellings,” said de Blasio, adding that none would find succor from the gale save those favored by providence to pass quietly in their sleep. Obviously overblown rhetoric from…
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The Elf on the Shelf is a Real Bastard, You Guys
The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives believes the Elf on the Shelf is an excellent way to get your kids ready for the “1984”-esque surveillance state we’re heading toward: What is troubling is what The Elf on the Shelf represents and normalizes: anecdotal evidence reveals that children perform an identity that is not only for…
